We at the Zombification of America would like to welcome our newest Zomrade: Pau Gasol of the LA Lakers! Now, I know some of you are thinking, "Wait a minute! He's a Spaniard!" Well, sometimes, we at ZOA take a more stealthy approach. We figure that our Zomrades will make a NEW America, with a literal melting pot of citizens. We figure that "Zodar" (zombie radar) can be compared to "Gaydar." Europeans always throw us off! And if the public can easily accept that a 7-foot Spaniard has been a Zombie from the beginning, it will make our goal at ZOA that much more attainable. We realize that, at first, zombies can indeed be frightening, so we are taking extreme measures to ensure the transition is as quiet as a zombie's first groan.